Tributes for our dear friend and respected colleague, Dr Raj Maheshwari

By SIP Candidates

How to find the words…how to make sense of such a sudden absence…?

For two years, Raj was an integral part of the candidate group of the Sydney Institute for Psychoanalysis. Joined together initially, in a united passion to understand ourselves and the psychoanalytic journey, we stood side-by-side…learning together, sharing thoughts, ideas and ourselves. Gradually connections formed, developed and deepened… 

Raj was a gentle presence. He had a capacity to think deeply and digest. When he spoke, it seemed that his ideas revealed many hours of reading, serious consideration and attempts to integrate what was new with what he already understood. In his quietness, his mind felt alive. He seemed to have a thirst to learn and understand. Standing steadfast in his final months, he chose to remain with our group, determined to continue to read, to think and to respond in our clinical seminars, even when the simple act of breathing, seemed difficult 

Reverberations of this tragic loss

Can now be felt inside us all…

We have prematurely lost a respected colleague, a friend and a fellow traveller

Despite his physical absence, his presence, his softness of soul, his seriousness and commitment to the search for meaning, will remain with us through our training

Raj, you are sorely missed. 

Tali Israelstam

It was easy to feel Raj's care and thoughtfulness in the short time I had to get to know him. I was inspired by his curiosity, the sheer enthusiasm he took in learning, and his unique way of thinking about the world of psychoanalysis in particular. An esteemed colleague to have on this journey.

In those last months working together on his candidate magazine, I was privileged to experience the sparks of his creative mind. His hearty laughter as he surveyed the new and exciting territory of his aspiration echos throughout conversations that will remain incomplete.

I will fondly remember Raj’s warmth and kindness, his good humour, humility and courage, and his pure delight in psychoanalysis that will leave his presence in our training and this community very much missed.

Carla Sarkis

I will remember Raj as a kind and gentle person who laughed at my jokes. We spent a memorable time in an Adelaide bookshop looking for presents for our children at the end of the last pre-Covid, in person interstate weekend. Raj looked hard to find books his boys would like. At the same time, he said he knew they would complain about “always receiving books!” 

While thoughtful and quiet, when Raj did share in seminars, he always had something intriguing and deeply insightful to say. He could lighten the group’s mood with a smile and encouraging words delivered with a twinkle in his eye.

When my infant observation mother dropped out, Raj offered to help me find a new mother/baby couple. That he extended genuine help meant very much to me during a very challenging time.

I will greatly miss Raj’s quiet, good-humoured and thoughtful presence. His is a deep loss to our institute and also, the mental health profession.

Jennifer Bestel

Raj was a very considerate, professional and trusted colleague whom I will miss dearly. After meeting him as a candidate, I became quickly fond of him as he exuded such warmth and compassion.  I am sorry not to have had the opportunity to get to know him better and spend more time with him.  It was apparent that he loved life and his family and in particular he expressed great affection for his wife and sons.    He would have been proud of the way people spoke of him at the service and happy to see how many people truly loved and respected him in return.  During the last year of his life Raj expressed gratitude for what he had, which helped him to tap into interests and areas of his life that had been previously unchartered.  I will take that from him, with love and gratitude in knowing such a lovely man.        

Marie Bertuch

I feel very fortunate to have met and known Raj over the last two and a half years.  We were in the same Infant Observation group during our first year of training.  I was struck by his calmness, kindness, level-headedness, patience, compassion, intelligence, curiosity and passion for psychoanalysis.  It is hard to believe that we have lost such a life-affirming, loving and talented man.  The manner in which he left us… with acceptance, appreciation and even good humour, is both humbling and inspiring.

Alison O’Carroll

Raj was such a kind, responsible, and thoughtful colleague and friend that the loss of him feels so unbelievable, painful and unbearable.

Whilst we were training, he always offered me the most generous help and support. I will continue to hold the memory of his warmth and kindness in my heart.

Nancy Xin Yao